Monday, May 25, 2015

The truth about love.

The truth about about love and myself is that I have always found it to be elusive. I see friends and family find love everyday and yet I still struggle with it. When friends find that perfect match it makes me happy knowing they found a person who makes their heart skip a beat and gives them that warm butterfly feeling every time they are together. It also makes me slightly envious and definitely sad that I have yet to find that kind of love for myself. We all want someone special in our lives but a few of us are never meant to find it and are destined to be alone. 

Am I good at dating? At this point in my life I would have to say no, or I would have been successful by now. Throughout my life, not many men have asked me out, of that I am not sure why. So I decided if I wasn't pretty enough on the outside to attract men then I would try to be a good person on the inside. Turns out men like women with a little more of a bite to them. I also seem to have a problem with being smart and ambitious which I didn't realize makes a bad combination for finding a man. 

So my answer was to stop dating. After multiple disaster relationships that I chose to stay in way to long and one relationship that was happy but I wasn't what he wanted in a partner, I decided to stop the madness. For awhile I thought that there would be someone around the next corner, but every corner was empty. I have been on dates, and enjoyed the company of several great guys whom I enjoy as friends, but nothing more than that. I realize I am extremely lucky to have some amazing men in my life, but there has been nobody special for the past 3 years who made my heart skip a beat....until recently.

I opened a door and met someone who gave me butterflies and made me smile when I would think about him. It was like a ray of sunshine after a long cold winter. He made me realize that I do have the ability to feel a spark for someone. I  still might be single and forever alone, but I know that there are still hidden gems waiting for me around the occasional corner or door. 

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